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| Describing themselves as "vexed" by the constant squabbling on Earth, a coalition of extraterrestrials today announced a "moratorium on contact" between extraterrestrials and Earthlings "until the situation there settles down a little." "This is not to be seen as a punishment," said a top coalition spokesman, "just a cooling-off period for both sides." |
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| When reached for comment, the Mayor of New York, who is considered friendly with the extraterrestrials, would say only, "I haven't heard about it. I guess when they want to hear from us again, they'll let us know."
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