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| He did not die in an exchange of gunfire as expected. He survived the military engagement, or worse, it never happened. Instead he was confronted with middle age: a life which perhaps, by the very fact that he was still alive, had not achieved its end. What did this mean? It was not as if the world had accepted him. To the contrary, he was left increasingly alone with his thoughts. His soul ached for death, which he had always understood as its aim, and now that it was clear that he would not be dying anytime soon, he was forced to wonder: had he gotten lost? |
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| Once he had been young and in love. Then he had become corrupted, and his soul had gone sour for a long time. That was never supposed to happen!
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