eatbees.com: radiant days
sick at heart  new york city, 1989
http://www.eatbees.com/rad/sickatheart.htm
He was sick at heart. He wanted to make a new life that was more his own. He wanted to live in the simplest and most direct way possible. His goal was to do nothing that could be considered "making an effort." He just wanted to exist and be himself, which he felt was already enough.
He wanted to escape from the confines of the flesh. It seemed that his flesh itself was demanding this of him. Yet the keenest pleasures life provided were delivered through the senses. He wanted to be free to experience the flesh more fully than any one body would allow. He wanted to possess God's body, which is everywhere around us. He wanted to resume the physical union with God he had once known.
He began to burn with a fierce inner fire. He was ready to taste everything with his own flesh—falls from twenty-story buildings, having his limbs torn off by dogs, explosions in a crowded market. It was as if he'd seen a sign when he was coming into the world that said, "Taste all of life's pleasures while there is time."
©1983–2021 Marcel Côté. All rights reserved. Contact the author at jarboua@eatbees.com.